Like many other African American woman my age I have battled with uterine fibroids most of my adult life. Until recently I had not experienced symptoms serious enough to warrant any major treatment. Since 2003, I was able to tolerate the pea size fibroids in my uterus. I did receive treatment for heavy bleeding (menorrhea) and anemia that were caused by the fibroid. My doctor prescribed progesterone and iron supplements to combat those symptoms. However, these treatments do not affect the abdomen discomfort or reduce the size of the cysts.
Several months ago, I began to notice differences in the way my body was feeling and its functioning. After experiencing some pain and pressure in my lower abdomen and back last month, I decided to go back to see the doctor. The doctor recommended a pelvic ultrasound and later ordered an MRI. The results uncovered four uterine fibroids; their size equal to that of two grapefruit, a golf ball and an orange. Fibroids that large also resulted in an extremely enlarged uterus (about the size of someone 17 weeks pregnant). The discomfort coupled with the rapid increase in size lead me to get another opinion from a specialist. During the meeting with the specialist, two possible options were discussed, myomectomy or UFE. I have decided to go with UFE because the myomectomy is much more invasive and costly. Uterine fibroid embolization (UFE) is a less invasive procedure for the treatment of uterine fibroids. The process typically lasts less than an hour and requires only a small incision into the femoral artery. The procedure is designed to block the blood supply to the uterine fibroids, causing them to shrink. As one of the alternatives to hysterectomy or procedures, UFE is clinically proven to reduce the major symptoms of uterine fibroids.
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Christmas is just a few days away but I figured I would put together a little black girl magic shopping list (also known as my wish list;) I've come up with a list of 11 items that are perfect for the urban, chic inspiring woman in your life. Take a look and let me know what you think! Zi collection, Epic Necklace - $25, Paparazzi Accessories
Rows of glistening gunmetal beads, silver box-chain, and edgy black chain drape into endless layers of shimmer. Infused with rows of classic silver chains, strands of black and smoky rhinestones pressed into square frames drip between the bulky layers, adding an epic shimmer to the grunge-esque palette. Features an adjustable clasp closure. Sold as one individual necklace. Include one pair of matching earrings. Instant Pot 6 QT 7-in-1 - $89.99, Amazon Instant Pot DUO60 6 Qt 7-in-1 Multi-Use Programmable Pressure Cooker, Slow Cooker, Rice Cooker, Steamer, Sauté, Yogurt Maker and Warmer Pink sequin Starbucks - $18.95 Available in Starbucks Authorized Retail Stores Starbucks Coffee released its special holiday edition Rose Gold Pink Sequin 24oz Venti Tumbler Cold Cup. It is not available online and has been selling out in stores. Limitless Living Journal - $20, www.mytaughtyou.com Special Edition journal form Myliek Teele, the founder of Curlbox. My 2018 will be WILD and minus some of those limits I had placed on myself. Size 6"x9" Journaling tips + 150 lined sheets Printed with vegetable based ink on 100% post-consumer recycled paper HER Candle, Gavin Luxe - $15, www.bougieboheme.com Each Gavin Luxe & Co. soy candle is individually hand-poured in small batches using only the finest quality ingredients and carefully blended fragrances. Our candle burn clean and produce a rich long lasting fragrance. Gavin Luxe & Co. candles are made in our studio in sunny San Diego, CA. Brahmin, Sonny Bag - $265, www.brahmin.com Say hello to Sonny, our newest flap crossbody style for the season. The perfect size for everyday use, it allows you to carry all of your essentials in style. Our signature pockets and key clip keep you organized, and the crossbody strap keeps your hands free. Remove the strap, and Sonny is instantly dressed for dinner. Abielle Collection, Neferteri Headwrap Scarf - $44 This is a polyester blend fabric, that should be machine washed cold, air dried and iron on low. Abielle Collection is taking the world by storm, her scarf even appeared in a issue of Vogue last year. 23 and Me, Personal Genome Service - $99 One of Oprah's 2017 Favorite Things, 23 and Me will help you discover your heritage! Experience your ancestry in a new way! Get a breakdown of your global ancestry by percentages, connect with DNA relatives and more We're Going to Need More Wine, Gabrielle Union - $26.99 In the spirit of Amy Poehler’s Yes Please, Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl, and Roxane Gay's Bad Feminist, a powerful collection of essays about gender, sexuality, race, beauty, Hollywood, and what it means to be a modern woman. Clarisonic, Mia 1 - $129 One Speed Facial Cleansing Brush for Beautifully Clean Skin. Universal speed for normal skin. Loosens and removes dirt and oil Cleanses 6x better than hands. Waterproof and rechargeable Universal Voltage USB Charger Rose Gold 28" Hardside Luggage Fibertech, iFly - $79.00 This limited edition metallic hard side series takes all the sophisticated features of iFLY's Fibertech series and adds the color and shine of Rose Gold. Every detail is electroplated, including the wheels, trolley, carry handles and zipper pullers, to make your piece stand out and match seamlessly with your accessories. The Gold and Rose Gold iFLY series is perfect for any type of getaway and the perfect gift. To know who we are is something we should discover early on in life.
Unfortunately, it’s not quite as straightforward as you’d hope. But because the beauty of people is learning and change. We will constantly learn new things about ourselves. It’s a life long process, and that’s a good thing. This month I've decided to spend some time getting reacquainted with myself and I invite you to join me! I may even share my answers live on periscope at @bebold_coach. :-) Below are 25 introspective questions that I found on a personal growth guru's website. How would you answer these questions?
It’s 2017, Honey! We made it! We have another year to get it right or at least do it a little better. I haven’t made a New Year’s resolution in quite a few years. It just feels so cliché. You know, kind of basic. Besides, my resolutions were always derived from a negative mindset. Things like I will stop cursing. I will stop eating junk food. I will stop spending so much money on shoes. Resolutions can be a set up for failure because it’s like all of a sudden on January 1, everything you have enjoyed is now off limits. So instead of feeling good about achieving a goal, you spend the first few weeks of the year experiencing the five stages of grief every time you restrict yourself...Ugh! For the third year in a row, I decided to come up with My One Word for the Year. Over the next twelve months, I will try to view everything through the lens of the word PURPOSE For example, when I’m in Target with a cart full of shoes, I will remember my ONE WORD and hopefully purchase the one pair that I have a clear defined use for. Next time I get the urge to mindlessly eat a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, I will consider my ONE WORD and remind myself that food is fuel and not a void filler. Hopefully this year, I will only curse on PURPOSE and not out of a lack of other suitable vocabulary. (Despite what my Dad, tells me I still don’t believe it has anything to do with morals). But most importantly, I am going to try and live my life for God's greater purpose. In everyting I do and everywhere I go....Work, Home & Community. I will ask ask myself three questions - What did you do with purpose today? How did you use your purpose to help someone? How can you be more purposeful tomorrow? Do you have a 2017 resolution? If not, why not consider coming up with ONE WORD? Below are a few examples. Find one that feels significant to you and use it to guide your year. Happy New Year! Today is International Women's Day a day that celebrates equality in the world. Celebrate the social, economic, cultural and political achievement of women. AND ALWAYS REMEBER YOU are AWESOME! Take a look at this video.... I WILL WAIT FOR YOU! This video of Janette itz performing her spoken word piece is AMAZING! It really speaks to my experience as a single Christian woman.
So the girls over at Sits are awesome resource for bloggers. Every month they offer writing prompts for blog posts. It’s so cool; it reminds me of the journal prompts I give my son during the summer. Today’s prompt is perfect, especially since I had planning to share about a retreat I attended this month: …If you are a parent, how do you make time for yourself?... I just recently spent a weekend at a silent retreat and I really think it’s something I will do regularly as a way to relax and renew. Last year sometime, I was chatting with a friend about how overwhelming life had gotten and how I needed to find a place to get away from the busyness of life. She mentioned that a neighbor of ours had been regularly visiting a monastery outside of Atlanta for silent retreats. I immediately reached out to that neighbor via Facebook, unfortunately I didn't hear back from her, so I began to do my own online research. The first place I landed on was Ignatius house Jesuit retreat. Opened in December 1960 Ignatius House Jesuit Retreat Center was created by the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits) to provide spiritual renewal for those seeking to discover and live out God’s will in their lives. The center offers weekend silent retreats, 5-8 day retreats, days of Reflection, special audience retreats and the full Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius in both the 30 day and daily life form. I signed up for a session in January, but due to a family illness, I had to reschedule for March. The weekend of the retreat, I wasn't able to pack before I left for work, so I had to rush home and grab a few things for the next two days. I figured, it wasn't necessary to be a glamour girl, so I packed legging, jeans comfy shirts. Of course, I couldn't just run in and run out, my awesome son decided that he needed to have a very important conversation with me about taking his cell phone to school while I was tossing clothes in the bag. I could not wait to get to the retreat house. In classic Atlanta tradition, the traffic headed north of the city was slow, but I just kept thinking when I get there, I’m going to forget all about this…. I arrived about thirty minutes after the welcome reception started and I was afraid that I had missed something. The Retreat coordinate, Sharon was waiting for me in the foyer with a kind hello and a warm smile. She welcomed me and directed me to my room and the library where the reception was being held. The reception was very nice. There was wine and appetizers available, soft music playing and lots of nice looking people chatting. I dropped my belonging off to my room and headed to the library, I decided that I would make conversation with a stranger, because Lord knows I won’t be able to in about an hour. (Did I mention this was a silent retreat?) Well, typically being silent in large social settings isn't challenging for me, but talking sometimes talking can be, so I decided to stretch myself and I ended up getting to know a very cool lady named Chana, she was a single mom in grad school, who had worked in the education field. Who would have guessed, a kindred spirit? After the reception we had our first group session in the Chapel. It was basically a mini worship service that included a mini sermon called a "talk;" there were a total of seven scheduled over the next two days. I attempted all but one of the scheduled sessions (I had a little trouble waking up from my afternoon nap on Saturday) and I’m glad I did. Most of the retreat attendees were Catholic and the services followed traditional Catholic ritual. I had an opportunity to walk the beautiful grounds surrounding the retreat center and chapel. I also got some reading done in the evenings. The in-house chefs, Lake and Landon, did not disappoint with the daily offerings! Everything was from scratch and most ingredients were local. The topic of the final message on Sunday was about going back down the mountain. We talked about the story of Peter and the other disciples experience with Jesus and how they wanted to build tents and stay up on the mountain top, but Jesus commanded that they come down. After, my weekend ended, I felt renewed and encouraged. While, this type of reflective and contemplative time may be difficult for some, I highly recommend it for busy moms! Visit the Ignatius house website at www.ignatiushouse.org for more information about upcoming events. Recently Access Hollywood’s Shaun Robinson asked Oprah “Will you leave this earth as a never-married woman?” “Yes,” she quickly replied. “Yeah, I think that’s my final answer” (read the interview here) When asked what her longtime boyfriend Stedman Graham would say about the idea of getting married. Oprah said candidly of Stedman, “If you ever interviewed him, he would tell you that had we married, we would not be together today,” “Because he’s a traditional man and this is a very untraditional relationship. And I think it’s acceptable as a relationship, but if I had the title ‘wife,’ I think there would be other expectations for what a wife is and what a wife does.” Last night a very close friend who has been married for over a decade sent me a text encouraging me to listen to a recent expert of a call from the Dr. Laura show. I immediately felt apprehensive because frankly I think Dr. Laura is a bit of a jerk and most of her conservative advice conflicts with some of liberal feminist views. Don’t get me wrong I used to listen to Dr. Laura often when I was younger, but as a 36 year old woman living a nontraditional life, I tend to consider Melissa Harris-Perry a more applicable and informative source of commentary. Nevertheless, I really admire my friend’s family life and think she has lots of wisdom in this area, so I listened to the nine minute recorded call entitled “Did Tracy have a role in her husband infidelity”. In summary, Tracy was calling in for advice from Dr. Laura about forgiving her husband who had an affair with her best friend. During the call Dr. Laura berated this woman about her responsibility for her husband’s cheating. Apparently, Tracy didn’t meet her husband’s needs while caring for her new baby and when she became seriously ill. The good doctor told the caller that she was “getting all righteous” because her husband found someone else to give him what he couldn’t get at home. While listening to the call, I kept saying to myself, Huh? What? I’m confused… what is the question? If he cheated and you don’t trust him then that’s it…isn’t it? What’s left to discuss? Well, I was so worked up about it that I called my grandmother (who raised me) to get her opinion and of course she had the same reaction I did. She also added ” well, you know white woman cater to their men a bit more than we do.” (hum, really?) And then it hit me….Wait, I consider myself a Christian woman, why do I have such an aversion to submission. I understand sacrifice, but this inequitable submission? I mean don’t all humans require the same things: love, respect and acceptance. Both men and women. Then, why as a woman am I expected to make special accommodations for a man just because he is the MAN. I just don’t get it and maybe that’s why I’m single. I’ve always had a desire to meet a nice guy, fall in love and get married, but the longer I stay single the harder it will be for me to comply with the rules of engagement and the mantras of marriage. I have never had an exclusive relationship with a man. But I have been told from guys that I’ve dated that I can be unaccommodating and tend to lack empathy. I acknowledge that feedback and am working improvement for the benefit of all my relationships. When my married friends talk about all the work that goes into marriage I find myself wondering what the fruit of this labor is and if it is something I can live without. I absolutely want a committed relationship with a loving and supportive partner. However, I think Oprah is right about the expectations that go along with the wife title and I don’t think I have what it takes…Yeah, I THINK that’s my final answer. |
Hey There, Babe!I am a 43 year old bangle loving, deal seeking, info gathering, coffee drinking, craft doing, overthinking, God trusting mom and social worker. Archives
March 2018
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